Being
27 years-old and still at home living with my parents, I realized it’s about
time (well its BEEN time) for me to get my act together. I look at my cousins’
lives and realized they all have had children, are in relationships and a few
are married with decent careers. The same life I imagined I would have now when
I was in high school, my family is living it.
I dreamed I would be that career woman, with a sexy-curvy body and
vivacious social life. Not to mention engaged to a hunk with an annual income of
150,000 dollars! Yep, nothing like dreaming, BIG. I always thought I’d reach my
goals before the big 3-0! However, I am stuck filling out job applications,
enrolled in community college and majoring in Sociology (after changing it so
many times). My life is the complete opposite of what I dreamed nine years ago
and I have just realized the only thing that has remained the same, was my fear
of succeeding.
They
say people in our circle know us more than we know ourselves. I can say that’s
not always true. My mother is the first to tell me that I cheat on diets
because I love to eat… yeah, no sh*t.
I do know that my constant fear of winning keeps me in the comfort zone of
failing. Of course I want to win at my own life and yes, I do want to live the
suburban life with a French bulldog and a loving, hard-working husband. The
only question that keeps repeating in my head is, why does it take skills to
get a simple job at a fast food place and why are college students going for
their master’s when they may not get the job at all? Why? Why? Why? Obviously,
so many questions and no one has the time to answer them. We are left with the
general bullshit of, “Only the
hardworking succeeds.”, when we all know there have been people who leeched
onto fortune.
Anyways,
there’s this thing called action and thought or, an idea then putting it into
action. When you have a goal, you’ve thought about it first and then you moved
forward towards it, causing you to succeed at that very goal. Well, I’m here to
tell you about all those little pesky self-doubting comments people or YOU give
yourself to make you stay put and never move forward in life. I used these
comments as a way of life when I should have ignored it and continue with the
weight lost, job applications and scholarships. Negative thinking will keep a
person so afraid of life and possibilities, that jealousy seems happy and
depression seems normal. It’s a powerful mood, action and job. Yes, having that
fear life success IS a job, because you have to stay negative and keep the
positivity out. No wonder all of my younger relatives are working their first
jobs and all the employers are skipping over my application. Was it their
determination to get the job Or, was it my fear of actually doing something
with my life other than dreaming about it?
My
point in writing this is to help myself and other struggling people, understand
that there is NO age requirement to succeed in life. As long as you put some
action into your thought, winning can and will happen. Yes my relatives may
have their life in order today, but that’s not to say they don’t battle
personal struggles behind closed doors. I am willing to admit that I did manage
to lose 80-90 pounds, looking forward towards earning my bachelor’s degree and
filling out job applications. There is, however, one last question that comes
to mind… Paper or plastic?
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