'A' Word Verses The 'F' Word

          You’ve probably heard this before, women hate each other. We gossip, throw indirect jabs and steal each other’s man. We even befriend each other just to compare lives. Well, that’s not always true. You may think I’m lying, sometimes I think I’m lying to myself. Women don’t always hate each other. We just seem to be rivaling siblings sometimes. Yes. Siblings. When two little girls grow up together, they are each other’s play sister until they build that unbreakable bond. Its when they had gone through hormones together, first boyfriends, their first periods and choosing a college. The sad part about women and this sisterly bond stage is, it only happens during adolescences. Makes me wonder if women can build that bond during their own journey in life?

          Seems to me that we women make our bestest friends when we are lost. Never knowing what we want out of life. She [the long-time friend] was there to listen to all the bullshit babble, tears and fears only because she didn’t know what to expect either. She was our same age. We grew together and understood the same failures. I suspect older women hardly make that bond with other older women because we have already learned our paths before ‘she’ made an appearance. Independent women don’t need that helping hand. They are fully aware of what they want out of life and if she is ever at a lost, she already has a best friend to lean on. She completely cuts off making close friends only having new acquaintances.

          The dreaded ‘A’ word. Why do we cut off making new friends only to have more new acquaintances? I believe it’s the feeling of being backstabbed too much by the ex-new friend. The ‘ex-new friend’ is the reason we have stopped sharing that bond with the new pretty girl in class or work. Yes she looks like you have the same interests and morals, but the sheer idea of her actually being a ‘play’ sister is frightening! There is a possible way of ditching the ‘A’ word and accepting the ‘F’ word more often.

          Chapters, portraits and puzzles; share one idea and that’s you as the whole picture. If we go around dissing each other, then there is no solution to the old problem. It starts with you and how you view yourself. We Women don’t actually hate each other; we are just used to the bickering, teasing and taunting we get from our siblings. The jealous feeling when your sister gets praise from the parents [society]. You’ve heard that old saying “You’re only as good as your friends.”, right? Well how good are you if you don’t have any? 

There's never an age limit to success

Being 27 years-old and still at home living with my parents, I realized it’s about time (well its BEEN time) for me to get my act together. I look at my cousins’ lives and realized they all have had children, are in relationships and a few are married with decent careers. The same life I imagined I would have now when I was in high school, my family is living it.  I dreamed I would be that career woman, with a sexy-curvy body and vivacious social life. Not to mention engaged to a hunk with an annual income of 150,000 dollars! Yep, nothing like dreaming, BIG. I always thought I’d reach my goals before the big 3-0! However, I am stuck filling out job applications, enrolled in community college and majoring in Sociology (after changing it so many times). My life is the complete opposite of what I dreamed nine years ago and I have just realized the only thing that has remained the same, was my fear of succeeding.

They say people in our circle know us more than we know ourselves. I can say that’s not always true. My mother is the first to tell me that I cheat on diets because I love to eat… yeah, no sh*t. I do know that my constant fear of winning keeps me in the comfort zone of failing. Of course I want to win at my own life and yes, I do want to live the suburban life with a French bulldog and a loving, hard-working husband. The only question that keeps repeating in my head is, why does it take skills to get a simple job at a fast food place and why are college students going for their master’s when they may not get the job at all? Why? Why? Why? Obviously, so many questions and no one has the time to answer them. We are left with the general bullshit of, “Only the hardworking succeeds.”, when we all know there have been people who leeched onto fortune.

Anyways, there’s this thing called action and thought or, an idea then putting it into action. When you have a goal, you’ve thought about it first and then you moved forward towards it, causing you to succeed at that very goal. Well, I’m here to tell you about all those little pesky self-doubting comments people or YOU give yourself to make you stay put and never move forward in life. I used these comments as a way of life when I should have ignored it and continue with the weight lost, job applications and scholarships. Negative thinking will keep a person so afraid of life and possibilities, that jealousy seems happy and depression seems normal. It’s a powerful mood, action and job. Yes, having that fear life success IS a job, because you have to stay negative and keep the positivity out. No wonder all of my younger relatives are working their first jobs and all the employers are skipping over my application. Was it their determination to get the job Or, was it my fear of actually doing something with my life other than dreaming about it?

My point in writing this is to help myself and other struggling people, understand that there is NO age requirement to succeed in life. As long as you put some action into your thought, winning can and will happen. Yes my relatives may have their life in order today, but that’s not to say they don’t battle personal struggles behind closed doors. I am willing to admit that I did manage to lose 80-90 pounds, looking forward towards earning my bachelor’s degree and filling out job applications. There is, however, one last question that comes to mind… Paper or plastic?